Failing NaNoWriMo

So this is a hard post for me to write. For the past two years I've loved taking part in NaNoWriMo and I've won both times. This year didn't go so well. I wanted to sort of vent my thoughts about this year's NaNo and come to terms with my failure, hence this post was born!

The first year I did NaNo I had a lot of free time. Having the time to do it wasn't the issue, it was having the physical energy that was going to be my challenge, and also it was the first time I'd ever attempted to write a novel. I finished in within fifteen days and surprised myself completely. To do this day it is still one of my proudest achievements. I put a lot into the planning of my first novel, having chapter outlines and character profiles to draw on. Of course a lot of this goes out of the window once you start writing, but I had enough ideas to keep the words coming. Afterwards I realised some of the ideas needed simplifying (I'd written a sci-fi/fantasy novel where some of the ideas just did not make sense!) but I was pretty happy with how things worked out. To this day I still go back and revisit this novel, tweaking it every so often. I don't expect anything to come of it, but I feel like it was a strong start.

2012 was my second year attempting NaNoWriMo and I struggled. The idea I had didn't work as well as I hoped, and I hadn't done as much planning. I decided to write contemporary which I thought would maybe be easier, as I didn't have to sit out and plan the intricate details of a new world which was something I'd done first time round. I was wrong. Without a new world to describe and new settings to introduce, I found myself really struggling to get excited about the surroundings my characters were placed in. There were parts I did like, for example I explored some dark subject matters and really enjoyed diving into the characters I'd created. I did finish, but only just in the nick of time and I've never gone back to look at that novel.

This year was a struggle from the beginning. I'd been incredibly busy in the run up to NaNoWriMo and I'd had lots of changes going on in my life. My head was a little bit all over the place, and although I had an idea and a little bit of planning, I hadn't really managed to get myself focussed enough. Because I was quite busy, I was trying to write with no energy at the end of a long day. I have so much respect for writers who can juggle jobs and writing, because it's something I just couldn't do. I got bits done on days where I didn't have anything else on, but I couldn't utilise my evenings for writing because I was just too tired. I also hadn't had time to research certain parts of my novel which needed research, and I had to abandon the idea of writing a novel in letters (something I'd always wanted to do because I love readings books like that!) because I found it too tricky to portray what was happening.

Eventually I abandoned my first idea and started a new novel - something involving people with superpowers which I came up with on the spot. It was a fun idea and I think it could still go somewhere, but I just didn't have to time to think about where it was going and I soon ran out of words. And then that didn't work.

I was feeling pretty low and hopeless and decided to go digging around in my word documents for one of my many abandoned stories. In there I found the first few paragraphs of a story I started writing a few years ago. I read it and reconnected with it instantly. Suddenly ideas were flooding into my head and when I put fingers to keys I was churning out a lot of words.

It was too late to use this story for NaNoWriMo, but discovering that lost idea and finding that spark of inspiration was exactly what I needed.

I'm sad I won't finish NaNoWriMo this year. I don't like quitting or failing and I've ended up doing both. I still feel NaNoWriMo is a fantastic start if you're an aspiring writer. The community of people taking part is a brilliant support network and I've always found working to a deadline and having that word count staring at you to be very motivating. But I've also learnt that writing should be done for the right reasons. There's no point making yourself miserable and trying to plough on with something that isn't working. And something good has come out of this year. I have a novel I'm determined to carry on writing past November and see where it goes.

Have you taken part in NaNoWriMo this year? Let me know in the comments!

M.E - A Poem

Another different kind of post from me today! This poem was originally posted on my personal blog last year (linky-link) but I figured there might be some readers of this blog who would appreciate it. I wrote this to raise awareness of M.E, the illness I've been living with since 2005. It's a very personal poem as it stems from my own experience of the illness. I hope it gives you a little idea of what it's like to live with M.E.

M.E

Virus, not well, mild frustration,

Missing out my education,

Visit GP, desperation,

Blood tests, waiting, agitation,

Still so sick, a bad sensation,

Return to GP, preparation,

Bloods clear, now what? Anticipation,

Hospital the new location,

See consultant, evaluation,

“You have M.E”, a revelation,

Explains the illness, grabs attention,

I’m not alone, a celebration

List of symptoms, expectation,

“No cure yet though”, hope deflation,

Just more waiting, stirs emotion,

Wiped out, pain, poor concentration,

Sickness, joint pain, bad digestion,

Fatigue, weak muscles, debilitation,

Insomnia, sleep deprivation,

Bedbound, housebound, isolation,

For some comes hospitalisation,

Have to stay strong for duration,

Where’s the help, consideration?

Benefits battle, messed up nation,

Struggle through the registration,

Misunderstood by population,

Media writes words of fiction,

“M.E not real” a fabrication,

Still I fight, no liberation,

Too ill to learn, no graduation,

No job at all, no work promotion,

Charities help, make a donation,

Volunteers at their station,

To help with my incarceration,

Recovery the destination,

For now in my imagination.

Thank you for reading! I appreciate this is different from what I usually post and I hope it doesn't put anyone off. I'd really appreciate you sharing any posts you find useful and educational as the whole aim of M.E Awareness Week is to share the message of what M.E as an illness is really like. Thank you!

NaNoWriMo: Day 22

The end is almost in sight! 3 weeks into NaNoWriMo, how is everyone getting on?

I've made no secret of the fact that this year has been a bit of a struggle for me, but I'm just about managing to keep up with the pace. At the start of today, before doing any writing, I'm at 34,241 works. Just 15,759 to go!

There may be just over a week left but this week has turned out to be a pretty busy one. I've had a lot of other commitments and writing has had to take a backseat. I've been struggling with fatigue which makes writing pretty tricky, too. My story is starting to shape up a bit more though which I'm very happy about. I didn't plan as much this year which means some of the twists and turns in my story have come as a surprise to me as I'm writing! Ideas are coming to me midway through which is good, because I needed more of them ;)

My story has also ended up lot darker than I expected. I think getting really into my characters' heads and seeing their flaws and putting them in challenging situations has lead to me to really get fired up and write more than I have been doing.

Let's hope I can stay on track for the final week!

NaNoWriMo: Week One!

The first week of NaNoWriMo has passed and there's much to catch up on! I hit the big 10k on Tuesday which was not easy, but at the end of that chapter I reached a turning point and things seem to have picked up from there.

The biggest hurdle has been my concept. I've tried to explain my novel to people and come up short, so what have I done? I've only gone and changed it midway through! Rather than stressing me out, it's actually made things an awful lot simpler. Mt story was probably a bit complicated for its own good. So my YA novel has a new title - New Year! How long that one will stick we shall have to see. My main issue with it has been changing the cover I'd uploaded to the NaNo site. The new one is pretty damn awful but when you only have MS Paint to work with, it's never going to be a work of art...

My novel really started to pick up once I introduced the love interest. Now I have a whole potential relationship to play with - oh the possibilities! Lasy year I loved putting all the teen love drama in and this year is no different.

How is everyone else getting on? Keep up the good work fellow NaNo-ers!

Struggling? Why not check out my review of Writing Advice for Teens: Creating Stories by Mike Kalmbach?

NaNoWriMo: Day One!

It has begun! November is National Novel Writing Month - also known as NaNoWriMo. The aim is write 50,000 words in 30 days and it is brilliant and terrifying at the same time! Last year I managed it in half the time, only I had a lot less on my plate and I was a lot better at planning... But I'm back again and we shall see how it goes!

This year I'll be writing (or aiming to write!) a YA contemporary novel called Regret. My love of YA is something that crosses over into my writing, too!

I'll be keeping track of my progress on the blog, mainly because it will become my focus over the next month! I still have reviews to post so those will carry on.

If you're taking part in NaNo then you can add me as a writing buddy here: My NaNo profile.

I've added a word count count widget to the side of the blog so you'll be able to see my progress. Day one has seen me write 2000 words (so far!).

Good luck to everyone else taking part!