M.E - A Poem

Another different kind of post from me today! This poem was originally posted on my personal blog last year (linky-link) but I figured there might be some readers of this blog who would appreciate it. I wrote this to raise awareness of M.E, the illness I've been living with since 2005. It's a very personal poem as it stems from my own experience of the illness. I hope it gives you a little idea of what it's like to live with M.E.

M.E

Virus, not well, mild frustration,

Missing out my education,

Visit GP, desperation,

Blood tests, waiting, agitation,

Still so sick, a bad sensation,

Return to GP, preparation,

Bloods clear, now what? Anticipation,

Hospital the new location,

See consultant, evaluation,

“You have M.E”, a revelation,

Explains the illness, grabs attention,

I’m not alone, a celebration

List of symptoms, expectation,

“No cure yet though”, hope deflation,

Just more waiting, stirs emotion,

Wiped out, pain, poor concentration,

Sickness, joint pain, bad digestion,

Fatigue, weak muscles, debilitation,

Insomnia, sleep deprivation,

Bedbound, housebound, isolation,

For some comes hospitalisation,

Have to stay strong for duration,

Where’s the help, consideration?

Benefits battle, messed up nation,

Struggle through the registration,

Misunderstood by population,

Media writes words of fiction,

“M.E not real” a fabrication,

Still I fight, no liberation,

Too ill to learn, no graduation,

No job at all, no work promotion,

Charities help, make a donation,

Volunteers at their station,

To help with my incarceration,

Recovery the destination,

For now in my imagination.

Thank you for reading! I appreciate this is different from what I usually post and I hope it doesn't put anyone off. I'd really appreciate you sharing any posts you find useful and educational as the whole aim of M.E Awareness Week is to share the message of what M.E as an illness is really like. Thank you!

Review: Falling Through the World by Rachel Clarke

Falling Through the World by Rachel Clarke

Author: Rachel Clarke Website
Published: 7 November 2012 (Lunette Publishing)
Format: Kindle e-book
Pages: 192
Amazon: Paperback|Kindle

Source: Bought

Plot Summary (from Goodreads):
Behind the tightly drawn curtains of an ordinary house, something strange is happening to Sarah – something she knows simply cannot be. Her body is turning against her, the world she knows falling apart. It seems nobody can help. The doctor’s confused, her parents argue constantly and her boyfriend, Dan looks on bewildered. Even outspoken Ali, her closest friend, seems powerless against the force of events.

Buffeted by ignorance and conflicting advice from the very people who should be helping her, Sarah trawls through her unravelling life, searching for the moment where it all went wrong.

But can she put the pieces of her world back together again, before it’s too late?

My Review:
I came across this book whilst researching books on M.E. This is a novel tells the story of Sarah, a teenager who is struck down with a mystery illness. We see her battle her symptoms, whilst also struggling to keep up with friends, relationship and school, and follow her journey as she is eventually diagnosed with M.E.

This is a book that's extremely difficult for me to review because the story is basically my life. I fell ill at fourteen and was diagnosed with M.E at fifteen, so this is all very close to home for me, even more so as I share the main character's name! What I can say is that although at times this was a difficult read for me because of how close the subject matter is to my heart, it was also a highly accurate portrayal of life as a teenage M.E sufferer and I was completely blown away by the phenomenal job the author has done.

Readers who aren't familiar with M.E as an illness will hopefully have their eyes opened by Sarah's story, but aside from that, they'll also find a gripping, emotional story with fantastic characters and a great plot. I hope people won't be put off by the subject matter, because whilst this book carries an underlying message, Clarke has also managed to keep in some great humour and most importantly the feeling of hope which completely lifts this novel up and stops it being too bleak.

The first person POV worked really well and Sarah was a completely engaging character. I fell in love with her voice and laughed along with her as well as feeling the anger and frustration of what she has to endure alongside her. I really loved her friendship with her best friend Ali, which doesn't always run smoothly. Ali herself is a fantastic addition to the story with her sharp tongue and brutal honesty. That sarcastic nature really reminded me of friends of mine and I think she's exactly the kind of friend you need when you have a chronic illness! It was great seeing the strong bond between Sarah and her mum as well, something which really pulled at the heartstrings whilst I was reading and a bond I could identify with.

Sarah's story, as I mentioned, is one I recognised completely. From the terrifying feeling of falling ill and not knowing what's wrong with you and the even scarier prospect of discovering there is no cure. The struggles she faced at school were all too familiar, from her battle to keep in touch with friends, missing school and not gaining qualifications and the rumours that fly around school when you're not there. Her experience of using a wheelchair really hit home - I too felt the embarassment the first time I used mine. In fact even some of the lines spoken by characters in this book were lines that people in my life have spoken themselves. It really is quite freaky just how accurate it is and I was so relieved it was done so well.

As a YA novel, Falling Through the World has everything - emotion, friendship, heartbreak and romance, as well as family and school related drama! It also tackles the issues that M.E sufferers face every day - the lack of understanding and poor treatment by medical professionals, as well as the crippling symptoms the illness entails.

Reading this book (and writing this review!) had me close to tears, but in the most complimentary way possible. Falling Through the World has managed to balance an addictive story with an important message, and it is a book I will be recommending for years to come.

Rating: 5*
What to read next: Verity Red's Diary by Maria Mann, The State of Me by Nasim Marie Jafry
Books like this: The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

M.E Awareness Week: Book Recommendations

This is a bit of a different kind of post for me today but a very important one. If you read my blog regularly you'll know I mention having health problems every so often. Since I was fourteen I have lived with an illness called M.E or Myalgic Encephalopathy. It has robbed me of my teenage years, isolated me from friends and most importantly it has caused me many horrible symptoms which affect my day to day life.

This week is M.E Awareness Week (12th - 19th May 2013) and May is M.E Awareness month so I wanted to raise awareness through this blog and hopefully educate people on how devastating this illness can be. But don't turn away just yet! This is a book blog after all, and so at the end of this post I will have some recommendations for books to read to learn more about M.E. I'd really appreciate you taking a look!

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the illness, here are some facts:

What is M.E? M.E, also known sometimes as CFS or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, is an illness that affects around 250,000 people here in the UK. There is no known cause of M.E, although in many people it follows after a virus such as glandular fever.

What are the symptoms? M.E has a wide range of symptoms, the main one being extreme fatigue which is worsened by physical or mental activity. This is not average tiredness but a crippling exhaustion that can make it difficult or impossible to do simple things such as walking and caring for yourself. Often sufferers are left housebound or bedbound. Other symptoms include muscle pain and weakness, joint pain, headaches, nausea, sensitivity to sound, light, touch and smell, cognitive difficulties such as poor memory and concentration, difficulty sleeping and unrefreshing sleep, dizziness and sore throats.

M.E affects people of all ages and has been cited as the most common cause of long term school absence in the UK.

For more information and support, please visit the following websites.

http://www.ayme.org.uk - AYME (The Association of Young People with M.E)
http://www.actionforme.org.uk Action for M.E
http://www.meassociation.org.uk - M.E Association
http://investinme.org - Invest in M.E
http://www.smileforme.org.uk/ - Smile for M.E

M.E Book Recommendations

Falling Through the World by Rachel Clarke
Summary: Behind the tightly drawn curtains of an ordinary house, something strange is happening to Sarah – something she knows simply cannot be. Her body is turning against her, the world she knows falling apart. It seems nobody can help. The doctor’s confused, her parents argue constantly and her boyfriend, Dan looks on bewildered. Even outspoken Ali, her closest friend, seems powerless against the force of events.

Buffeted by ignorance and conflicting advice from the very people who should be helping her, Sarah trawls through her unravelling life, searching for the moment where it all went wrong.

But can she put the pieces of her world back together again, before it’s too late?
Amazon|Goodreads


Verity Red's Diary: A Story of Surviving M.E by Maria Mann
Summary: Filled with mischievously wry wit, this semiautobiographical narrative is an inspiring and hugely enjoyable day-by-day account of a year in the life of a myalgic encephalomyelitis, or chronic fatigue syndrome, sufferer. Privy to the notable events, everyday routine, and innermost thoughts of Verity Red, the skepticism and lack of understanding surrounding this recently recognized condition is addressed, as well as the common symptoms--boredom, the feeling of low self-worth, exhaustion, and the craving for comfort foods.
Amazon|Goodreads

One Last Goodbye by Kay Gilderdale
Summary: Watching her child die is the hardest thing a mother can ever do, but for Kay Gilderdale, saying a final goodbye to her only daughter Lynn was exceptionally painful: she'd played a part in her death. Lynn was just 14 when she was struck down by the crippling disease ME, leaving her paralyzed and in constant agony. Over the next 17 years, she became desperate to escape her miserable existence, even begging her mother to help her die. So, one night, when Kay found Lynn attempting suicide, she was forced to make an impossible decision. Continue watching her child suffer or help her end the pain? Eventually, fighting her every instinct, Kay helped her precious daughter take a fatal overdose. But while Lynn was finally free, her mother faced a fresh agony—a possible lifetime behind bars. The highly controversial trial that followed opened a fierce public debate on assisted suicide. Is it murder or mercy? Here, in her heartbreaking story, Kay reveals the harrowing truth behind the headlines and the desperate lengths a mother will go to for the love of a child.
Amazon|Goodreads

The State of Me by Nasim Marie Jafry

Summary: It's 1983 and 20-year-old university student Helen Fleet should be enjoying the best days of her life, but while all her friends go on to graduate and have careers in London, she is forced to return to her parents' home, bedridden with vile symptoms that doctors can't explain and often don't believe. She is eventually diagnosed with M.E., a cruel illness that she must learn to live with over the next decade.All of her relationships are tested -- and changed -- by her condition, but Helen's story is so much more than an account of her suffering. At times sad and at times funny, the author skillfully leads the reader through the trials and tribulations of Helen's life, perfectly capturing her unusual experiences as a twenty-something woman living in 80s Scotland with a mystery illness. 

Amazon|Goodreads

A Beginner's Guide to M.E/CFS by Nancy Blake
Summary: The Beginner's Guide to ME/CFS states unequivocally that it is complete rest from the very beginning of this illness which creates the necessary precondition for progress towards recovery. Currently recommended treatments - Cognitive Behaviour Therapy and Graded Exercise Therapy - can wipe out this possibility, sending patients down a path towards severe and long-term disability - for which the patient can then blamed. The Guide contains useful advice about how to maintain a semblance of normal living while conserving physical exertion. Les Simpson's research - ignored by the medical community - provides additional recommendations which can improve your well-being.
Amazon|Goodreads

Thank you for reading this post and if you could share it and spread the message it would be much appreciated!